The Evils of an Electric Blanket

Last night Mr Smarts had a dreadful nightmare where he dreamt he was engulfed by fire and was slowly burning to death.  Unfortunately when he woke he found he did feel as though he was on fire and sweat was dripping of him at a great rate.  Panicked he lay there wondering if he was having a heart attack, that is until a hot water bottle flew through the air and landed with a thump on his stomach emptying warm water all over him.  Mr Smarts jumped out of bed and yelled,

“What are you trying to do Kooky Chic, electrocute me?”

“Don’t be ridiculous darling, if I wanted to electrocute you I would just drop my hair dryer in the shower whilst you were showering.  So what on earth are you talking about and oh darling, have you wet the bed?” I asked sleepily as my hand touched a big wet patch.

Blustering and flustering Mr Smarts could barely speak as horrors of horrors he had discovered one of his most hated man made things was on our bed and not only that it had been turned on and left on for most of the night.  You see, Mr Smarts has a phobia about electric blankets and has always refused to own one but little did he know, last week I was given a lovely new electric blanket and before he knew anything about it I had quickly placed it lovingly on our bed. But sadly, despite all my begging and cajoling, my side of the blanket simply refuses to work.

So on this particular freezing cold night I put Mr Smart’s side of the blanket on and also took a hot water bottle to bed as I really feel the cold.   Unfortunately, I went happily off to sleep leaving the electric blanket on at the highest setting, number 10.  About half an hour later Mr Smarts climbed into bed and for some reason didn’t notice how warm and snug the sheets were and fell quickly asleep.

Sometime during the night I grew too hot and threw the hot water bottle over to Mr Smarts side.  I was actually being very considerate as every night he tries to steal it from me and I thought he might like it.  However, I do remember thinking, “Wow those arm weights really are paying off,” as the bottle flew high up in the air.  Unbeknown to me, my thumb had put a hole in the hot water bottle when I picked it up to throw it over to Mr Smarts side and warm water went everywhere.   Poor Mr Smarts but I really wish he would give my hair dryer back.
Copyright 2016

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6 thoughts on “The Evils of an Electric Blanket

  1. Love this… I haven’t used an electric blanket for years but my mother has an old one and I’m worried it’ll electrocute her one day. I keep saying we need to get a new one but each winter comes and she does nothing!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I haven’t told Mr Smarts yet but once, years ago, another electric blanket started smoking then slowly caught on fire just as I jumped out of bed. I don’t think I’ll ever share that with him.

      Like

  2. It didn’t work on your side? Ripped off Kooky! I do love a hot water bottle. Haven’t used one for years but have thought about getting one each for the kids as a bit of a novelty but Dean reckons heat bags (filled with wheat, barley etc) are the go these days. SO not the same but maybe you should think about it too Kooks. Less risk of a water bottle tsunami and maybe then you’ll get your hair dryer back. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

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