Mrs Fit’s Magnificent Mistake

At one pm last Tuesday, Mrs Fit received a phone call from the hospital where her father in law, Baz is a patient.

“Hello Mrs Fit.  I’m afraid I have very bad news,” the doctor said.  “I have tried phoning Mr Fit but unfortunately  am unable to reach him.  His father has unfortunately taken a turn for the worst and I am quite doubtful he will survive the night.”

“Oh dear,” Mrs Fit was shocked.  “Mr Fit is away on a business trip but I will be there as soon as I can.”

In a frenzy, Mrs Fit packed whatever she could lay her hands on and raced off to collect Marigold and Daisy from school.

“Mrs Fit,” Mrs Peabody, the receptionist said concerned as she burst through the door.  “Is everything alright? You look a tad flustered.”

Before she could stop herself Mrs Fit promptly burst into tears and cried, “It’s Mr Fit’s father Baz!  He has….”

“Oh my dear,” Mrs Peabody said grasping Mrs Fits hand.  “I am so very sorry for your loss.”

“What’s going on?” Mr Red, the school principal and Mr Fits best mate asked in alarm.  He had heard the commotion from his office and was unsure whether to put the school in lock down.

“Mr Fit’s father, Baz has passed away,” Mrs Peabody said sadly.

“Let me explain, Baz hasn’t…..”  Mrs Fit begged.

“Oh no! Not Baz!” Mr Red choked.  “Not good old Baz.  Oh no!” and he turned away and blew his nose loudly.

“Would Marigold and Daisy Fit please report to the office immediately with their school bags,” Mrs Peabody announced over the PA system as she handed Mr Red an enormous box of tissues.

“Oh dear what have I done?” Mrs Fit thought, her mind racing.  She didn’t know what to say.  The doctor said Baz was going to die so perhaps she should just leave things as they were.

Marigold and Daisy, surprised to see their mother at school and even more surprised to see Mr Red hugging her looked on in amazement.

“Oh you poor little mites,” Mr Red said patting them on the back  mournfully.

“Mummy what’s going on?” eight year old Marigold asked as Mrs Fit hurried them to the car.

“Grandad isn’t feeling well again so we’re going to visit him,” Mrs Fit said trying not to cry  as they sped off down the freeway to the coastal town where Baz lives.  A two hour drive from the city.

On the way Mrs Fit phoned Mr Fit and told him the sad news.  Thankfully he was already at the airport waiting to board his plane.  She phoned his brother Felix and urged him to fly back from London.  She phoned Baz’s sister Mavis who was on holiday with a lovely man she had met on her last cruise. She phoned the funeral parlor and caterers for a Saturday funeral.  She even managed to book a house for a week when they stopped for a loo break.  It cost a fortune but it was the only one available. She even managed to compose the death notice and was rather chuffed at how lovely it sounded.

Feeling quite proud of herself for having everything organised, Mrs Fit drove through the hospital gates and nervously led the girls inside to say goodbye to their grandad.

Expecting to find Baz lying peacefully in bed she was dumb founded to find him happily chewing on a sandwich while watching the telly.

“Grandad,” the girls smacked loud kisses on his cheek.

“What the hell is going on,” Mrs Fit said before she could stop herself.  “I mean, you look marvelous,” she hurriedly corrected herself.

“Hello my dears.  I wasn’t expecting you.” Baz was delighted.  “ I had some sort of turn earlier, had everyone quite worried apparently but am fit as a fiddle now.”

Beep beep went Mrs Fit’s phone.  A text message from Mrs Groovy,

“Just heard the sad news about Baz at school assembly, too sad.  Let me know when the funeral is.  Love to you all xx.”

Seconds later another from Mrs Red,

“Am so sad to hear about Baz.  Kids all prayed for you at assembly.  Mr Red is very emotional, tissues everywhere. Hope you are okay. Speak soon xx.”

“Have organised meal drops for when you get back, just need to know if the girls are allergic to anything?” a text from the President of the Parents and Friends.

Horrified Mrs Smarts turned her phone to silent, ignoring the incoming messages. What had she done!  Baz didn’t look like he was on deaths door but now, thanks to her, everyone thought he was already dead.

“Is everything okay?” Baz asked curiously.  But before she could answer the telephone beside his bed rang.

“Hello Baz here,” he said loudly, he is quite deaf. “Oh hello there son.  What? What’s that you said? Oh no I’m not. What! No I most certainly am not dead! How preposterous!  Who do you think I am, Jesus? Have you been drinking again? That Mavis has a lot to answer for. Yes, goodbye and I will most certainly see you when you get back.”

“How strange,” he said puzzled.  “Red phoned Freddy offering his condolences.  Said he was distraught as he thought I was dead.”

Mrs Fit sank onto a chair and closed her eyes wishing she was far, far away. What had she done!

One week later, much to everyone’s delight, Baz is still going strong.  Aunt Mavis thought the whole thing absolutely hilarious and has decided Mrs Fit is her new favorite.  As for Mrs Fit, she had a lot of explaining to do and I’m not sure Mr Red has quite forgiven her.

Copyright 2016 

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5 thoughts on “Mrs Fit’s Magnificent Mistake

  1. Hahahaha! Poor Mrs Fit. I do feel for her and she may never live it down. But that is hilarious! Long live the Baz! 🙂

    Like

  2. Very funny, I had a second biopsy in my breast because I was crying so much they thought a second one would reassure me. I was trying to get out that I was just tired x

    Liked by 1 person

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