The Shocking Truth About the Jolly Fat Man

“You lied to me!” Red jnr shouted, slamming the door behind him. His face purple with rage.

“What have we lied about?” Mrs Red asked alarmed. She had never seen her son in such a state before.

“There is no Santa Clause!” Red jnr cried in despair. “No reindeer’s! No Elves! It’s just you and dad!”

“And who told you this story?” Mr Red asked trying very hard to stay calm.

“Freddy did and he’s right isn’t he?” Red jnr sobbed as though his heart was breaking. “He’s not real is he? It’s all one big lie!”

“Red, where are you going?” Mrs Red asked as Mr Red walked out of the house.

“Just have to see a man about a dog. Won’t be long,” he said storming off down the road to where a group of boys were playing cricket.

“Freddy jnr can I have a word with you please?” Mr Red demanded.

“Sure Mr Red,” Freddy jnr agreed cautiously. He didn’t like the angry look on Mr Red’s face.

“Why did you tell Red jnr that Santa Clause isn’t real?” Mr Red demanded angrily.

“Huh?” Freddy jnr asked. Had he heard correctly? Was Santa Clause really not true? “What do you mean Santa Clause isn’t real?” Tears welled in his eyes.

“What are you talking about?” Mr Red asked. “You’re the one who told Red jnr Santa Clause isn’t true!”

“I didn’t tell him anything,” tears trickled down Freddy jnr’s face. “I thought he was true until you just told me he wasn’t.”

“But Red jnr said you told him,” Mr Red said panicked. What had he done?

“Is everything okay?” a boy sauntered over.  He eyed Mr Red warily.

“Santa Clause isn’t true,” Freddy sobbed. “Mr Red just told me. I can’t believe it!”

“Duh,” the boy said. “You’re crying  like that other kid did when I told him,” and he laughed.

“Let me guess,” Mr Red seethed. “Your name wouldn’t happen to be Freddy too would it?”

The boy took one look at Mr Red furious face and ran away as fast as he could. Muttering, “Stupid cry babies,” under his breath as he went.

What a dilemma Mr Red found himself in. He consoled Freddy as much as he could but it was useless. He even tried telling Freddy that he had been joking. Santa Clause was real. Of course he was real. Only an idiot would say otherwise but it was no use, Freddy’s dreams had been crushed.

So after walking Freddy home and explaining to Freddy’s parents what he had done, they were mortified,  he returned home to a surprisingly up beat Red jnr.

“So where’s the dog?” Red jnr asked eagerly.

“What dog?” Mr Red was puzzled.

“You said you were going to see a man about a dog,” Red jnr said on the verge of tears again. “Or was that another lie?”

“No of course not,” Mr Red said thinking fast. “All the dogs were taken but we could go get one from the shelter now if you like?”

So in the end all was saved. Red jnr was bribed with an adorable little puppy who ate their shoes, peed all over Mrs Red’s gorgeous new carpets and left hair everywhere.

Of course they didn’t forget Freddy. He was given a cute, little mouse who cleverly escaped his cage more often than not. Mrs Fit could be heard cursing Mr Red at all times of the day and night.  She hates mice.

I would love to hear the story of how you found out the shocking truth that your parents were, in fact,  Santa Clause impostors.

Mine was when I was ten years old and the so called “cool girls” at school gleefully told my friends and I the devastating news. Yes, they were biatches. However, they also tried to have me believe money trees grew in their back yards so I’m surprised I actually listened to them.

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11 thoughts on “The Shocking Truth About the Jolly Fat Man

  1. I was 11 when our neighbour complimented me on my pink satin pyjamas that Santa had given me and asked my Mum where she bought them. Without thinking Mum told her and didn’t give it a second thought until I brought it up with her later that night. I was so disappointed! Not in my parents for stringing me along but that he wasn’t real. Devo. Remember it like it was yesterday 😦

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    1. It is devastating and your poor Mum must have been sad because, as well all know, everything changes once the truth is out. But I am so glad we live this little white lie for as long as we can. I still like to pretend Santa Clause flies around in his sled with all the reindeer’s on Christmas Eve 🙂

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    1. I told my little sister straight away as well, I was so devastated. Sex, arghhh yes. But I must admit I did find it secretly hilarious watching my kids squirm when they found out.

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  2. The tooth fairy may have missed the haze house last night and one of the Haze twins has raised the concept that Red guy, the Chocolate dude and the money fairy are not in fact real this morning! We think we have for now dodged the bullet …

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      1. She told me the Teen Haze had already told her I may have suggested the teen doesn’t know anything and that he’s just a boy what would he know. I then told the story about my brother who at about 21ish had a disagreement with our mum about whether he dog had actually gone into the shop and purchased his christmas gift. Mum insisted the dog had (she is a bit weird our mum she treats her dogs like they are humans and Mr Haze likes to joke that the dog inherits before my brother & I). He should laugh that will mean we will never pay off our mortgage! That aside our Mum insisted the dog Fred had in fact picked out and paid for his present he wouldn’t have it so she took it off him. So if you don’t believe you don’t receive .. I still believe otherwise I get nothing lol …

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