The Shocking Truth About the Jolly Fat Man

“You lied to me!” Red jnr shouted, slamming the door behind him. His face purple with rage.

“What have we lied about?” Mrs Red asked alarmed. She had never seen her son in such a state before.

“There is no Santa Clause!” Red jnr cried in despair. “No reindeer’s! No Elves! It’s just you and dad!”

“And who told you this story?” Mr Red asked trying very hard to stay calm.

“Freddy did and he’s right isn’t he?” Red jnr sobbed as though his heart was breaking. “He’s not real is he? It’s all one big lie!”

“Red, where are you going?” Mrs Red asked as Mr Red walked out of the house.

“Just have to see a man about a dog. Won’t be long,” he said storming off down the road to where a group of boys were playing cricket.

“Freddy jnr can I have a word with you please?” Mr Red demanded.

“Sure Mr Red,” Freddy jnr agreed cautiously. He didn’t like the angry look on Mr Red’s face.

“Why did you tell Red jnr that Santa Clause isn’t real?” Mr Red demanded angrily.

“Huh?” Freddy jnr asked. Had he heard correctly? Was Santa Clause really not true? “What do you mean Santa Clause isn’t real?” Tears welled in his eyes.

“What are you talking about?” Mr Red asked. “You’re the one who told Red jnr Santa Clause isn’t true!”

“I didn’t tell him anything,” tears trickled down Freddy jnr’s face. “I thought he was true until you just told me he wasn’t.”

“But Red jnr said you told him,” Mr Red said panicked. What had he done?

“Is everything okay?” a boy sauntered over.  He eyed Mr Red warily.

“Santa Clause isn’t true,” Freddy sobbed. “Mr Red just told me. I can’t believe it!”

“Duh,” the boy said. “You’re crying  like that other kid did when I told him,” and he laughed.

“Let me guess,” Mr Red seethed. “Your name wouldn’t happen to be Freddy too would it?”

The boy took one look at Mr Red furious face and ran away as fast as he could. Muttering, “Stupid cry babies,” under his breath as he went.

What a dilemma Mr Red found himself in. He consoled Freddy as much as he could but it was useless. He even tried telling Freddy that he had been joking. Santa Clause was real. Of course he was real. Only an idiot would say otherwise but it was no use, Freddy’s dreams had been crushed.

So after walking Freddy home and explaining to Freddy’s parents what he had done, they were mortified,  he returned home to a surprisingly up beat Red jnr.

“So where’s the dog?” Red jnr asked eagerly.

“What dog?” Mr Red was puzzled.

“You said you were going to see a man about a dog,” Red jnr said on the verge of tears again. “Or was that another lie?”

“No of course not,” Mr Red said thinking fast. “All the dogs were taken but we could go get one from the shelter now if you like?”

So in the end all was saved. Red jnr was bribed with an adorable little puppy who ate their shoes, peed all over Mrs Red’s gorgeous new carpets and left hair everywhere.

Of course they didn’t forget Freddy. He was given a cute, little mouse who cleverly escaped his cage more often than not. Mrs Fit could be heard cursing Mr Red at all times of the day and night.  She hates mice.

I would love to hear the story of how you found out the shocking truth that your parents were, in fact,  Santa Clause impostors.

Mine was when I was ten years old and the so called “cool girls” at school gleefully told my friends and I the devastating news. Yes, they were biatches. However, they also tried to have me believe money trees grew in their back yards so I’m surprised I actually listened to them.