My Knickers Have Been Strangling Me

I can only hope that my kids don’t read this little story because if one of them does, she is going to want to die.

For the past few weeks my knickers have been up to hanky panky.  One day they were so friendly and comfy that I didn’t give them a second thought.  The next day however, they were so tight  I’m sure they were trying to kill me by cutting off my circulation in all manner of  places.

In a panic, thinking that I was gaining weight in my sleep I upped my exercise regime ten fold.  Still my knickers continued to play their nasty game with me. Sometimes they were so mean they left deep grooves embedded in my flesh and barely covered my butt crack.  It was a bit chilly at times and I feared for my kidneys.

This went on and on, day after day until it eventually  dawned on me that I had been, in fact, wearing Pippa’s knickers. The tag read the same as on my knickers but it neglected to include the words “Kids Only”.

I cannot tell you how relieved I am and how much I  look forward to a peaceful night sleep without having to do a thousand butt clenches throughout the night.

For now though,  I’m off to buy more mature knickers. Ones without butterflies and lady bugs.



14 thoughts on “My Knickers Have Been Strangling Me

    1. Hahaha our poor kids. Mine still doesn’t know. Thanks for the heads up with the jeans, it’s bound to happen sooner or later.


  1. Haha! I wish I could say I’d been wearing Heather’s! But sadly no, I am being strangled by my own thanks to the Christmas lard I still have not been able to shift. That’s hilarious Kooky. Poor Pippa hehe.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I’ve done the same thing—it’s terribly uncomfortable. My daughter’s also worn my knickers, and I’ve pulled on my husband’s jeans. The worst is when I shop in the men’s section of stores like Just Jeans, and don’t notice until someone points out that I’m trying on men’s clothes. I obviously have no fashion sense.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I hear you, finding the women’s jeans especially in Just Jeans is a nightmare. I have to check and recheck. But pulling on your husband’s jeans, now that would have been a lovely surprise for a few minutes.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. No kids to make that mistake, but I have occasionally had similar problems with my own knickers. I have two sizes and sometimes the smaller ones are fine and sometimes not. Trouble is they don’t give you fair warning. Just had to visit because of your header.

    Liked by 1 person

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