When Baz, (Freddy Fits father and the man who wouldn’t die Mrs Fit’s Magnificent Mistake) discovered that Freddy and Mrs Fit jnr were driving into the city for the night, he arranged to travel in with them. He was meeting friends for dinner and would catch the late train home.
Upon their arrival, Baz realized he had a few hours to spare so tagged along with Freddy and Mrs Fit who were celebrating their wedding anniversary. With some trepidation he sat down at the restaurant table Freddy had reserved as a surprise for Mrs Fit. It was all very glamorous and looked extremely expensive. Mrs Fit was delighted and informed Baz that he was very fortunate to be eating at such fabulous restaurant. Apparently one had to book a table four months in advance, it was so popular. Baz wondered why, aloud. Mrs Fit looked shocked and delicately sculled her champagne.
He became rather frustrated after the fourth course and nearly flipped his lid when he found out there were another ten to go. After all, he had dinner plans. At this rate he would never escape.
He turned green when the snail porridge was offered but was more than happy with the wine that was served with every course. Each glass growing more and more delicious than the last. He was in very high spirits and grew quite loud and jovial after a very short period of time. He made friends with everyone but declined the offer to sit in the kitchen with the staff even though they tried to bribe him a glass or two of scotch.
Mrs Fit was very quiet as she ate her poached salmon in licorice gel and barely made eye contact with him. Freddy, however, kept staring at his father and even cocked his eyebrow a few times. Confused, Baz wondered if he had something poking out his nose and continually blew it, but there was nothing there. Nobody at the next table could see it either.
Six hours later, after an afternoon of food and wine and singing, (on Baz’s behalf) it was finally time to leave. Baz quickly redid the button up on his pants, his poor stomach was so full it was sure to have stretch marks and followed Freddy and Mrs Fit unsteadily outside.
As the hotel, where Freddy and Mrs Fit were staying, was just around the corner it made sense to Baz to freshen up there before he left to meet his friends. The hotel suite was very extravagant and Baz wondered why they needed all the space when there was just the two of them. He thought about asking if he could stay but after yawning loudly and complaining of feeling tired Freddy and Mrs Fit quickly retired to the bedroom. He heard the distinct click as they locked the door.
Baz checked his watch. He had at least half an hour until it was time for him to leave. He plonked himself down on the sofa and without meaning to was fast asleep in no time at all.
Hours later he woke with a start and was alarmed to see that not only had he missed his dinner but the last train had long gone. In desperate need of a glass of water Baz went in search of the kitchen. He opened the nearest door and got the shock of his life. Mrs Fit, half asleep was sitting on the loo. She screamed in in horror and tried to cover herself with her hands but it was too late. Baz had already seen the suspenders and the black lacy thing she was barely wearing. Shocked he backed away and smashed into the wall.
“Get out! Get out!” she screamed at him until he came to his senses and fled as quickly as he could.
The next morning he was met with stony silence. He tried to explain to Freddy what had happened but it was no use, he wouldn’t listen. He didn’t see Mrs Fit until it was time to leave. Things have never been the same between them since.
Have you ever had anything happen to you like this before?