Mrs Red Is A Naughty Girl!

Mr Red gave Mrs Red a beautifully wrapped box as she climbed out of the car.  “A birthday present I didn’t want the kids to see,” he said with a wicked grin before zooming off.

 Mrs Red, eager to discover what was inside the mysterious box hurried into the building and sat down on a leather sofa in the foyer. But just as she was about to unwrap the first layer of delicate paper she was engulfed in a tight bear hug.  It was Pablo from the mail room.

“Happy Birthday Mrs Red,” Pablo said joyfully.

 “Thank you Pablo,” Mrs Red said gasping for breath.

“I have a present for you,” he teased. “Close your eyes and no peeking.”

Mrs Red closed her eyes tightly. She had a soft spot for Pablo, everyone did. He was a generous man with the mind of a child.

“You can open your eyes…….now!” Pablo instructed. An enormous box stood before her on the floor. It was full of biscuits.

“Pablo, where did you get these biscuits?” Mrs Red asked.

“From the tea room,” was Pablo’s response.

“Pablo, they’re for everyone in the mail room to share,” Mrs Red said hoping not to hurt his feelings. “I can’t take them.”

“Yes you can!” Pablo insisted. “I’ve been saving a biscuit a day since your last birthday. There’s an awful lot of biscuits in there.  I think I might start saving sardines for you next year. My doctor says they’re very good for you.  One a day, that’s a lot of sardines,” he said thoughtfully. “I’d better get back to work now,” and he rushed off before she could say anything further.

Mrs Red examined the box. A strange smell wafted around it which mean taking it with her wasn’t an option. There was only one thing she could do, hide it. So she hid the box behind a gigantic pot plant. She would collect it later.Grabbing her satchel she hurried upstairs, forgetting Mr Red’s gift.

Half an hour later and almost at the end of her presentation Mrs Red was rather annoyed when alarm bells rang throughout the building. Presuming it was just a drill,she grabbed her things and made her way outside with everyone else. However, she was surprised to find the building surrounded by people dressed in full body armor and helmets.

“Happy birthday,” Mrs Groovy said behind her. “Sorry I saw you with Pablo earlier but I was late so had to dash. There he is waving to you now.”

“Have you heard Mrs Red,” Pablo shouted to be heard above the noisy crowd. “We’re under attack!” Everyone was suddenly silent.

“What do you mean under attack,” Mrs Red asked fearfully.

“I found a suspicious looking box  sitting on a sofa so I phoned 000 like I am supposed to,” Pablo explained. “And all these people with guns came! They found another box behind a pot plant. They think they’re bombs!”

“Bombs!” the people screamed. “Bombs!” Everyone ran from the building as fast as they could. Everyone except poor Mrs Red who stood frozen on the spot. Mrs Groovy watched her uncertainly.

“Mrs Groovy,” Mrs Red whispered. “I put the bombs there.”

Mrs Groovy scoffed.

“Listen to me,” Mrs Red begged. “One bomb is full of biscuits.”

“A bomb made of biscuits? Okay, I get it. It’s your birthday and you’ve been drinking,” Mrs Groovy said relieved that her friend hadn’t actually lost her marbles.  “Thanks for sharing though!”

“Listen!” Mrs Red said raising her voice.  “Pablo gave me a box of biscuits for my birthday which I hid in the foyer. I was going to collect it on my way out. The other box is a gift from Mr Red which he didn’t want the kids to see,” Mrs Red explained. “I must have left it there.”

“Well I think a whole lot of people are going to see whatever that present is,” Mrs Groovy said. “I’ve got a bottle of vodka in my office which I think we could use.  For medicinal purposes only, of course.”

Thankfully Mrs Groovy was wrong, not many people saw the Naughty Girl Pleasure Pack that Mr Red had bought for her. What was he thinking giving it to her at work, or at all! But it was seen by enough people to warrant Mrs Red changing careers.

Mr Red was very disappointed when Mrs Red told him that his gift had been destroyed.  Little did he know that she was the one who had destroyed it. Although Mrs Groovy had, with her empty bottle of  vodka, run off with a few unmentionable things.  And she didn’t have the heart to tell him how old the biscuits, which Pablo had rescued, were.   He was enjoying them far too much. Besides, he would find out soon enough.  She wondered how much he liked sardines.

 

 

 

 

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14 thoughts on “Mrs Red Is A Naughty Girl!

    1. Hi Louise,

      The stories are all real, I just change a few things so the people involved can never be identified. That’s the rule otherwise no more stories will be coming my way. I am looking forward to going back and finding out what’s been happening with you. I’ve been away far too long x

      Liked by 1 person

    1. I know exactly what you mean. I try really not to use hilarious when commenting on your posts but there is no other word xx

      Like

  1. HILARIOUS! I can get away with it because I’m nowhere near reaching my quota of hilarious-es. My hahahas on the other hand, I need to use sparingly. Haha! Oh. Whoops.
    It amazes me that your friends continue to keep pumping out this great blog fodder Kooky! Too funny. Thanks for another great yarn x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. They will probably make me start paying them soon. Oh hell, did I say that out loud? Thanks for reading Shauna xx

      Like

    1. I am very sad to write the box was made up mainly of Arnott’s Family Assorted. However there were a few Tim Tams as well as a few Shapes plus a smattering of crumbs from a slice of Pablo’s cream birthday cake from months earlier. Yummy!

      Like

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