Today the culling began in earnest for our move to the country. Mr Smarts and I were very gung-ho, but the Smarties were bored within the first five minutes. They disappeared and now I’m wondering if they have run away as we have not sighted them since. Mr Smarts just locked the doors in case they do decide to come back.
Anyway, there we were slaving away getting rid of all kinds of crap when Mr Smarts shouted, “Ah there it is!” and swept a dead mouse out from behind a bookcase. Now Mickey, as we liked to call him, had been driving us not so silently insane, especially at night as he scampered across the ceiling so I was, I’m afraid to say, quite happy to see his little corpse.
However, you might recall that in my last blog I wondered if Mr Smarts thought I was dim witted. Now even I’m not sure because in my head I decided that if I was going to be a tiara wearing farm girl here was the perfect chance to prove to myself that I could toughen up and be one.
So I picked up that dead little mouse, don’t worry I was gloved up, by the tail and proudly called Pippa to take a photo, (at this stage I hadn’t realized she’d left the building). I was going to post this photo on instagram, fb, pinterest and tumblr as I was beside myself with pride. That was until I saw something drop from the mouse to the floor.
“Oh look Mr Smarts, somethings dropping to the ground. I wonder what it could be?” I said dim wittedly.
Five seconds later I was screaming and gagging because the damn mouse had been invaded with maggots. I threw it to the ground and shrieked like a banshee. Maggots spilled to the ground, it’s poor tummy was infested. Mr Smarts thought it all absolutely hilarious and is now whining because his ribs hurt from laughing so much.
Needless to say, I have spared you a photo of the maggot ridden mouse and instead will show you the mouse we bought for Halloween. I have been scaring people senseless with it ever since, even, I’m pleased to say, Mr Smarts.
Obviously I have yet to earn my tiara but I’m confident it won’t be long before I do. Don’t you think?