Yeehah And Giddy Up It’s A Farm Update

Life at Withering Plains has been plodding along ……? Hmmm why don’t you be the judge of how it’s been plodding along?

Our hot, dry, summer sadly deserted us as it does every year, faithless friend that it is,  and we are now, however much I protest, about to be forced into enduring the bleak, miserable, winter months. The memories of last winter are still foremost in my mind and I am anxiously, (seriously freaking out) awaiting what it will throw at us this year.

Thankfully though, because we were totally unaware of how hideous winter can be, off the grid and living in the middle of nowhere, we are somewhat prepared for the cold, mud, and lack of energy than we were last year.

The lazy winter sun has already left us without power numerous times. Once at the ridiculous hour of  5pm. So the generator has  been put to work, (kids need light and power to do their homework and I need it for my sanity). And instead of having to listen to it’s constant grumbling and rumblings  we moved it away as far as we could from the house, which is much kinder on our ears. I had my suspicions that we would all be wearing hearing aids if nothing was done about it.

And as we had not expected to be living in this small house for so long, we existed as though we were camping.  Obviously this had to change. No more feeling like trailer trash for us. Paintings have been hung,  cushions and luxurious fur rugs, (one could feel like a porn star with those fur rugs) adorn the sofas, floor rugs keep our feet warm and thick, heavy, curtains are to be installed this weekend. Jack Frost you can go bugger off.

Paths have been made from the cottage to the front gate.   No more slodging through the mud on the way to the school bus for the kids. And there will be no more setting myself on fire because every piece of wood is bone dry. Well here’s hoping anyway.

We also have two new family members.  Meet Louie and Stewie.  Yesterday I foolishly let them wander the paddocks. They very generously beheaded nineteen of  my twenty strawberry plants.  How very thoughtful of them don’t you think?

And because I really am not forthcoming in sharing photos of our property I thought I had better improve, so here is the first one.

It’s rather pretty don’t you think? With my  home grown lavender and next doors cows munching  away on our grass? Delightful really.  But what you don’t see is the river of raw sewage/human waste/all things humanly diabolical running underneath our, (Smarts and mine) bedroom window.

Woohoo our septic tank has overflowed and I have never seen anything like it.  What’s worse, I can’t sleep without the window open and boy did we need the smelling salts last night.

Moving right along.

Remember this photo from FB and Insta? It was taken around the same time last year?

Well Miss Polly must have been feeling mighty hungry one day because she ate half the chair.

This is what it looks like now. 

God please bless Miss Polly because she is in BIG TROUBLE.

Miss Polly trying to convince Larry to take the blame

And last but not least the photo of my homegrown produce and a few other things.

If you take a good hard look at the bowl of tomatoes you might be able to see a lone strawberry sitting right on top?

As you already know Louie and Stewie took out most of my strawberry plants but they were growing in my vegetable patch.  I have another ten or so growing around the house which they left willingly alone. Smart little sheep that they are.

“How can you possibly call sheep smart?” you ask. Because, as we discovered last night one of the male occupants of this house has been letting loose his fire hose, from the veranda, all over my strawberry plants, rose bushes and hydrangeas  on a nightly basis.

It would appear that those extra five steps to the loo have been too much for him and his bladder!

So if you’ve  ever had the pleasure of eating any of my strawberries it might be wise to go visit your doctor.  I’m not sure what urine soaked strawberries can do to a person but I will know in a few hours, when I serve that last strawberry to the culprit for his desert tonight.

Thank you for reading this update.  Please be wary when eating strawberries from now on though, you just never know what they’ve been sprayed with, even the organic ones.

Kooky Chic x