Little Miss Fit arrived home from school very proud. She was the first student to be given the task of looking after the class pet, Max the Mouse for the whole weekend. All the other kids had been so jealous. But Mrs Fit was far from impressed that Max the Mouse was to spend the entire weekend with them. She despised mice. She hated the … Continue reading There’s A Mouse In Her Pants!
The post-Christmas sales were on. The crowds at the mall were maddening and Mrs Fit’s bladder, which, after having to cope with copious amounts of coffee, was demanding to be emptied. Immediately! Her bladder threatened to burst in the line at the always clean, sparkling, new loos so she high tailed it, crab like to the stinky, old loos. Loos which at all other times … Continue reading Why you should NEVER put your phone in your back pocket.
The bathroom scales squealed and groaned in complaint as Mr Red planted his feet firmly on them. He watched in disbelief as the red line shot to an impossibly high number and stayed there. Had he really put on that much weight? Sure that little jiggle around his middle when he walked had been rather confronting, but he’d tucked it into his pants and pretended … Continue reading Best Not To Rely On Dr Google – Ever
Christmas is my all time favorite time of year. I spend the month in a time warp remembering past Christmas’s and all those who are no longer with us. It’s not a sad time, I’m not rocking in a corner or blubbering away in my hanky, how could I with people like this in my life…… On a hot Australian summers day boisterous, lovable Aunt … Continue reading The Ghost of Christmas Past
Come with me and travel back to a time, way in the past, when my good friend Freddy Fit still lived at home with his parents. You won’t be disappointed. A Christmas Lust Story Mrs Fit had resigned herself to the fact that Freddy was never going to leave home and that her dreams of turning his bedroom into a sewing room were sadly never … Continue reading A Christmas Lust Story
Late one afternoon, as I was reaching in to grab an armful of hay, I noticed a large lump in the middle of the hay bale. The hairs on my arm stood on end as I backed away. Satan had come to visit. He had wound himself around and around in a coil and was dead to the world. Oh if only. He was just … Continue reading Poor Little Doug The Pug
Freddy Fit was surprised to hear female laughter coming from his father’s kitchen. He was even more surprised to find his father Baz, and Gladys, from next door, furiously munching on enormous slices of pizza. The table was littered with empty pizza boxes, chocolate wrappers and crusts of bread. “Pull up a chair son,” Baz said. “And have a cup of Gladys’s home made tea.” … Continue reading Romance Over A Potent Cup Of Tea
Mrs Groovy, Mrs Red and Mrs Fit, unknown to me had a mutual, growing concern that I was becoming a Crazy Calf Lady. Crazy Cat Lady, they agreed, bordered on the acceptable. Crazy Calf Lady they did not. So an intervention was staged and in the early hours of the morning I was whisked away for a day of pure indulgence at the hot springs. … Continue reading The Torpedo In The Pool – yeah right!
For the past few weeks I’ve written depressing posts about death, misery and burning flesh. I’m wondering if perhaps we should call this place Withering Heights as it’s been so bleak? But then we’re on flat land so Withering Plains would most likely be more appropriate. How very unromantic. Right at this minute though, the misery of winter is over. The suns out, the remaining … Continue reading I Have My Suspicions That I Might Die Soon
My one and only man child is having sick (?) day from school. Within the first 5 minutes of him getting out of bed this morning he flooded the bathroom by turning on the tap behind the washing machine. He wanted to see what it was used for. Um……it’s a tap? He then called the dog inside because, “She looks miserable Kooks”. His x-ray vision … Continue reading BEWARE OF THE MAN CHILD