Late one afternoon, as I was reaching in to grab an armful of hay, I noticed a large lump in the middle of the hay bale. The hairs on my arm stood on end as I backed away. Satan had come to visit. He had wound himself around and around in a coil and was dead to the world. Oh if only. He was just … Continue reading Poor Little Doug The Pug
Freddy Fit was surprised to hear female laughter coming from his father’s kitchen. He was even more surprised to find his father Baz, and Gladys, from next door, furiously munching on enormous slices of pizza. The table was littered with empty pizza boxes, chocolate wrappers and crusts of bread. “Pull up a chair son,” Baz said. “And have a cup of Gladys’s home made tea.” … Continue reading Romance Over A Potent Cup Of Tea
Mrs Groovy, Mrs Red and Mrs Fit, unknown to me had a mutual, growing concern that I was becoming a Crazy Calf Lady. Crazy Cat Lady, they agreed, bordered on the acceptable. Crazy Calf Lady they did not. So an intervention was staged and in the early hours of the morning I was whisked away for a day of pure indulgence at the hot springs. … Continue reading The Torpedo In The Pool – yeah right!
For the past few weeks I’ve written depressing posts about death, misery and burning flesh. I’m wondering if perhaps we should call this place Withering Heights as it’s been so bleak? But then we’re on flat land so Withering Plains would most likely be more appropriate. How very unromantic. Right at this minute though, the misery of winter is over. The suns out, the remaining … Continue reading I Have My Suspicions That I Might Die Soon
My one and only man child is having sick (?) day from school. Within the first 5 minutes of him getting out of bed this morning he flooded the bathroom by turning on the tap behind the washing machine. He wanted to see what it was used for. Um……it’s a tap? He then called the dog inside because, “She looks miserable Kooks”. His x-ray vision … Continue reading BEWARE OF THE MAN CHILD
Forty seven days ago I wrote about the trials of living off the grid. Forty seven days ago I had endless amounts of clean underwear to choose from every single day. Forty seven days ago I was able to watch TV pretty much whenever I felt like it. Forty seven days ago I never dreamt I would wish we had a pit toilet. Forty seven … Continue reading Living Off The Grid In Winter – Hahahah
Well it’s taken longer than we thought but Mr Smarts has almost finished building the calf shed which means the calves will be moving in very soon. So to celebrate my debut into farming I thought I would share again with you the day I went to my very first calf rearing expo. Mr Smarts waited until I had drunk every last drop of the … Continue reading The Queen of Calves
Our friend Freddy Fit was at a loss last weekend. Mrs Fit had a nasty cold and he was driving her batty with his constant hovering and fussing when all she wanted to do was sleep. Finally, unable to take any more of the thermometer being thrust into her mouth whenever she sneezed, Mrs Fit demanded he take the children for a drive out to … Continue reading A Most Disgusting, Frightful, Horrific Occurrence!
WE RAN OUT OF WATER! We ran out of water as a car load of girls rocked up for a camp over. We ran out of water as Mr and Mrs Groovy dropped in for booze and cheese. We ran out of water as Mr and Mrs Red drove in on their way home from camping begging for a shower. We ran out of water full … Continue reading How To Save Yourself From Deadly Jalapenos.
Mr and Mrs Fit watched in despair as Little Miss Fit scratched her head viciously. “I’ve tried three times and I can’t get rid of them,” Mrs Fit sighed. “It’s up to you now.” “But I don’t know what to do,” Mr Fit said in alarm. “I’ve never had lice.” “Google it,” Mrs Fit suggested as she walked off to find out who was banging on … Continue reading Banished to the Naughty Corner