Queen of Procrastination – A Withering Plains Update

Forget my self-appointed title, Queen of Calves, I am now the Queen of Procrastination. Why you may ask? Because I’m attempting to write my second novel, even though my first is still out and about doing the agent trail.  Foolish of me? Absabloodylutely! But still I plod on even though the characters are being so uncooperative I have to stop myself from killing them off … Continue reading Queen of Procrastination – A Withering Plains Update

Best Not To Rely On Dr Google – Ever

The bathroom scales squealed and groaned in complaint as Mr Red planted his feet firmly on them. He watched in disbelief as the red line shot to an impossibly high number and stayed there. Had he really put on that much weight? Sure that little jiggle around his middle when he walked had been rather confronting, but he’d tucked it into his pants and pretended … Continue reading Best Not To Rely On Dr Google – Ever

Fifty Shades of Miscommunicaton

Puffing and panting  Mrs Red, Mrs Groovy and Mrs Fit raced along the beach and burst through the cafe door in record time. “Hola ladies and hola amor de mi vida Mrs Red,” Marcello, the cafe owner greeted them.  He not so secretly had a thing for Mrs Red and her  lustrous red hair.  “The usual?” “Thanks Marcello,” Mrs Red said collapsing gratefully onto a … Continue reading Fifty Shades of Miscommunicaton

The Shocking Truth About the Jolly Fat Man

“You lied to me!” Red jnr shouted, slamming the door behind him. His face purple with rage. “What have we lied about?” Mrs Red asked alarmed. She had never seen her son in such a state before. “There is no Santa Clause!” Red jnr cried in despair. “No reindeer’s! No Elves! It’s just you and dad!” “And who told you this story?” Mr Red asked … Continue reading The Shocking Truth About the Jolly Fat Man

Red and Mr Winky – A teenage penis drama

It was school holidays and Red and his mates, Fit and Groovy, (Smarts was busy stacking shelves at the local supermarket) were hanging out at the Red house all by themselves. Don’t be alarmed, we have travelled back to a time when Red, Fit, Groovy and Smarts were nothing but self-absorbed, hormone raging teenagers. I wish I could tell you they were smashed out of … Continue reading Red and Mr Winky – A teenage penis drama

Why Mr Red Has Never Walked The Same Since

After rather a late night on the town Mr and Mrs Red were having a much needed lie in when their phone rang. “Who in the blazes is calling us so early in the morning?” Mr Red grumbled as he searched for the phone, trying to ignore the pounding in his head. “Hello, good morning to you sir,” a friendly voice said.  “How are ……” … Continue reading Why Mr Red Has Never Walked The Same Since