Every night when I go for a walk in our 12 acres of bush I scare myself stupid imaging I’m in The Blair Project. I know! I can’t help it but our bush, at night, looks just like it. Obviously, I always take a torch with me but last night my torch ran out of battery. Smarts always claims he can see in the dark … Continue reading The Blair Witch Is In Our Backyard.
Mrs Fit, in the middle of making her famous strawberry torte for a dinner party that night, discovered she had run out of cream. Frustrated, she phoned Freddy, (her husband) who was out on a bike ride and asked him to stop off at the supermarket on his way home. Freddy, who was normally forbidden to shop by himself, (apparently he spent too much money … Continue reading Freddy Fit Loses His Brains
Mr Smarts trudged inside and collapsed on the sofa. He looked crestfallen. “I’m presuming the meeting didn’t go well?” I asked sitting down beside him. “Oh Kooky you have no idea,” Mr Smarts said forlornly. “It was a complete and utter disaster.” “Surely it couldn’t have been that bad?” I asked hopefully. “Well let’s see. First of all Fit turned up in Mrs Fit’s tiny … Continue reading Mr Smarts – Enemy of The People No 1
Mr Smarts has been away at a conference for six days. He claims he is hard at work but whenever he phones his voice sounds very croaky, which usually happens after too many beers and I’m sure I can hear the surf in the background. Even though we love Mr Smarts, sometimes the kids and I are a tiny bit happy to see him go. … Continue reading Our Week of Debauchery
Not long after Mr Smarts and I met we had a sensational night of delicious food, good wine, great company whilst watching Shakespeare Under The Stars. At the end of the night Mr Smarts and I carefully packed everything up and made our way home in a taxi. Whilst “snuggling” in Mr Smarts cosy bed I sat up in alarm. “Mr Smarts!” I yelled. “You’re … Continue reading Mr Smarts First Proposal?
Mr Smarts and I ran away for a “Romantic” weekend where we both agreed we could not wait to sit by the pool, read our books and sip a cocktail or two. However, after only a few hours spent lounging by the pool side Mr Smarts quickly came to the realisation that he is not the type of person who can just sit back and … Continue reading An Ugly Affair By The Pool
“Mr Smarts,” I implored. “If you don’t stop rocking these seats back and forth you will surely tip us over.” “Rubbish,” Mr Smarts scoffed and with a wicked laugh rocked the rickety old seats more violently. Then, with an almighty racket and just as I had I predicted, we crashed backwards to the floor. Those sitting next to us watched in amazement as Mr Smarts … Continue reading Mr Smarts Sends Kooky, Kooky
Last night Mr Smarts had a dreadful nightmare where he dreamt he was engulfed by fire and was slowly burning to death. Unfortunately when he woke he found he did feel as though he was on fire and sweat was dripping of him at a great rate. Panicked he lay there wondering if he was having a heart attack, that is until a hot water … Continue reading The Evils of an Electric Blanket