A Budding Romance at Withering Plains

Through blurry eyes one morning I woke to see Miss Polly’s mouth around poor Louie the lambs neck.  Screaming hysterically, convinced she was trying to kill him, I ran out in my dressing gown and gum boots to save the day. I shouldn’t have bothered.  Turns out Miss Polly has a thing for young Louie’s…   EAR WAX! And Louie loves every minute. Archie is … Continue reading A Budding Romance at Withering Plains

Armageddon Pays A Visit To Withering Plains

MRS GROOVY’S BLESSED HOLY WATER Early this year, on a hot summers day Kate, (Miss 16)  finally agreed to help take down the Christmas lights which were hanging, shamefully, in the gum trees along the front of our property. From last years experience I knew there were going to be spiders waiting to jump out at me and most likely a snake or fifty as … Continue reading Armageddon Pays A Visit To Withering Plains

Yep, My Days Are Numbered

Charlie the calf strolled out of the calf shed one morning to find the neighboring cows grazing in the paddock next to his pen. For some reason this displeased him immensely so he puffed out his chest and bellowed obscenities at them. But the cows laughed at the silly little calf and continued munching on the grass. Angrily Charlie snorted and stomped his feet but … Continue reading Yep, My Days Are Numbered

Why you should NEVER put your phone in your back pocket.

The post-Christmas sales were on. The crowds at the mall were maddening and Mrs Fit’s bladder, which, after having to cope with copious amounts of coffee, was demanding to be emptied. Immediately! Her bladder threatened to burst in the line at the always clean, sparkling, new loos so she high tailed it, crab like to the stinky, old loos.  Loos which at all other times … Continue reading Why you should NEVER put your phone in your back pocket.

Best Not To Rely On Dr Google – Ever

The bathroom scales squealed and groaned in complaint as Mr Red planted his feet firmly on them. He watched in disbelief as the red line shot to an impossibly high number and stayed there. Had he really put on that much weight? Sure that little jiggle around his middle when he walked had been rather confronting, but he’d tucked it into his pants and pretended … Continue reading Best Not To Rely On Dr Google – Ever

I Have My Suspicions That I Might Die Soon

For the past few weeks I’ve written depressing posts about death, misery and burning flesh. I’m wondering if perhaps we should call this place Withering Heights as it’s been so bleak?  But then we’re on flat land so Withering Plains would most likely be more appropriate. How very unromantic. Right at this minute though, the misery of winter is over. The suns out, the remaining … Continue reading I Have My Suspicions That I Might Die Soon

Welcome to the Mad House Boys

  On a freezing, blustery, winters night the first five of our calves finally arrived.   Not on the warm, sunny, winters day that I had envisaged.  And I was not waiting at the gate with a sign which read “Welcome to the Mad House Boys” which in hindsight was a good thing because calves can’t read. Instead, I was sitting mournfully at the kitchen table … Continue reading Welcome to the Mad House Boys

Mrs Fit Flashes The Neighborhood

Mrs Fit stretched her long legs luxuriously in the steamy, bubbly, bath and gave a sigh of utter contentment.  She contemplated her good fortune at having the house all to herself, a rare event, as she sipped a tall glass of bubbly and delicately bit into a chocolate truffle. With Serge Gainsbourg crooning suggestively in the background and the warm, perfumed, water cocooning her, it … Continue reading Mrs Fit Flashes The Neighborhood