Forget my self-appointed title, Queen of Calves, I am now the Queen of Procrastination. Why you may ask? Because I’m attempting to write my second novel, even though my first is still out and about doing the agent trail. Foolish of me? Absabloodylutely! But still I plod on even though the characters are being so uncooperative I have to stop myself from killing them off … Continue reading Queen of Procrastination – A Withering Plains Update
For the past few weeks I’ve written depressing posts about death, misery and burning flesh. I’m wondering if perhaps we should call this place Withering Heights as it’s been so bleak? But then we’re on flat land so Withering Plains would most likely be more appropriate. How very unromantic. Right at this minute though, the misery of winter is over. The suns out, the remaining … Continue reading I Have My Suspicions That I Might Die Soon
Unfortunately I did almost burn to death twice, worse it was by my own hand. Accidentally of course. But let me get to that later, I need to explain a few things first. Things have been crazy around here. The Pity Party Is Over You will recall that the night the first of the calves arrived was a stormy, thunderous, howling, black night. Well that … Continue reading The Day I Almost Burnt To Death Twice
I’m A Country Wanker. By order of the Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh I bought a pair of fabulous new gumboots. They are so fabulous that they even have a little rubber heel and being the runt of the family that I am, I need all the height I can get so I love them even more. Unfortunately though, it has been pointed out … Continue reading I’M A COUNTRY W**KER
Forty seven days ago I wrote about the trials of living off the grid. Forty seven days ago I had endless amounts of clean underwear to choose from every single day. Forty seven days ago I was able to watch TV pretty much whenever I felt like it. Forty seven days ago I never dreamt I would wish we had a pit toilet. Forty seven … Continue reading Living Off The Grid In Winter – Hahahah
At the very moment I was trying to recall the last time Mr Smarts and I had been out on one of our date nights I received this text from him; “Can you be ready by 6pm? I managed a last minute booking.” I couldn’t believe my eyes. Was he telepathic? I was speechless with delight and didn’t think to ask where he had booked … Continue reading Disco Farming
Our friend Freddy Fit was at a loss last weekend. Mrs Fit had a nasty cold and he was driving her batty with his constant hovering and fussing when all she wanted to do was sleep. Finally, unable to take any more of the thermometer being thrust into her mouth whenever she sneezed, Mrs Fit demanded he take the children for a drive out to … Continue reading A Most Disgusting, Frightful, Horrific Occurrence!
Five months ago we moved onto fifty acres and into a tiny cottage with only two bedrooms. Not only does the house have only two bedrooms but it also has only one bathroom and to top it off, we’re off the grid. Five people, a tiny house and off the grid? Well, let’s say life’s been interesting. During the summer months we were left without … Continue reading The Trials of Living off The Grid