Through blurry eyes one morning I woke to see Miss Polly’s mouth around poor Louie the lambs neck. Screaming hysterically, convinced she was trying to kill him, I ran out in my dressing gown and gum boots to save the day. I shouldn’t have bothered. Turns out Miss Polly has a thing for young Louie’s… EAR WAX! And Louie loves every minute. Archie is … Continue reading A Budding Romance at Withering Plains
Forget my self-appointed title, Queen of Calves, I am now the Queen of Procrastination. Why you may ask? Because I’m attempting to write my second novel, even though my first is still out and about doing the agent trail. Foolish of me? Absabloodylutely! But still I plod on even though the characters are being so uncooperative I have to stop myself from killing them off … Continue reading Queen of Procrastination – A Withering Plains Update
Mrs Fit arrived on our doorstep looking harassed and extremely agitated. Her bulging suitcase wobbled precariously on the step beside her. “Sorry for turning up like this but I had to get away. You’ve no idea what I’ve had to put up with. It’s been diabolical,” she ranted as she dragged her case inside. “What’s happened?” I asked confused. Had she left Freddy. Where was … Continue reading The Black Plague at Withering Plains 2018
Living Off The Grid In Summer On the very first day of daylight saving, with much fanfare and trumpet blowing, I rescued the toaster from the shipping container where it had resided during the bleak winter months and escorted it down the red carpet and into the house. For the next few hours we watched, mesmerized, as it turned our soft, fluffy, bread into delicious, … Continue reading Life at Withering Plains – Part 1
Charlie the calf strolled out of the calf shed one morning to find the neighboring cows grazing in the paddock next to his pen. For some reason this displeased him immensely so he puffed out his chest and bellowed obscenities at them. But the cows laughed at the silly little calf and continued munching on the grass. Angrily Charlie snorted and stomped his feet but … Continue reading Yep, My Days Are Numbered
Little Miss Fit arrived home from school very proud. She was the first student to be given the task of looking after the class pet, Max the Mouse for the whole weekend. All the other kids had been so jealous. But Mrs Fit was far from impressed that Max the Mouse was to spend the entire weekend with them. She despised mice. She hated the … Continue reading There’s A Mouse In Her Pants!
The post-Christmas sales were on. The crowds at the mall were maddening and Mrs Fit’s bladder, which, after having to cope with copious amounts of coffee, was demanding to be emptied. Immediately! Her bladder threatened to burst in the line at the always clean, sparkling, new loos so she high tailed it, crab like to the stinky, old loos. Loos which at all other times … Continue reading Why you should NEVER put your phone in your back pocket.
On a hot Australian summer’s day boisterous, loveable Aunt Mavis rocked up in her green EJ Holden car full of Christmas spirit. She burst through the doors, barely able to stand from the weight of all her packages. Presents for everyone, home baked biscuits, a Christmas cake in there somewhere, calling, “Merry Christmas my darlings!” Barney, her full grown great dane bounded in after her. … Continue reading The Ghost of Christmas Past
Late one afternoon, as I was reaching in to grab an armful of hay, I noticed a large lump in the middle of the hay bale. The hairs on my arm stood on end as I backed away. Satan had come to visit. He had wound himself around and around in a coil and was dead to the world. Oh if only. He was just … Continue reading Poor Little Doug The Pug
Freddy Fit was surprised to hear female laughter coming from his father’s kitchen. He was even more surprised to find his father Baz, and Gladys, from next door, furiously munching on enormous slices of pizza. The table was littered with empty pizza boxes, chocolate wrappers and crusts of bread. “Pull up a chair son,” Baz said. “And have a cup of Gladys’s home made tea.” … Continue reading Romance Over A Potent Cup Of Tea