Why you should NEVER put your phone in your back pocket.

The post-Christmas sales were on. The crowds at the mall were maddening and Mrs Fit’s bladder, which, after having to cope with copious amounts of coffee, was demanding to be emptied. Immediately! Her bladder threatened to burst in the line at the always clean, sparkling, new loos so she high tailed it, crab like to the stinky, old loos.  Loos which at all other times … Continue reading Why you should NEVER put your phone in your back pocket.

The Ghost of Christmas Past

Christmas is my all time favorite time of year.  I spend the month in a time warp remembering past Christmas’s and all those who are no longer with us.  It’s not a sad time, I’m not rocking in a corner or blubbering away in my hanky, how could I with people like this in my life…… On a hot Australian summers day boisterous, lovable Aunt … Continue reading The Ghost of Christmas Past

Romance Over A Potent Cup Of Tea

Freddy Fit was surprised to hear female laughter coming from his father’s kitchen.  He was even more surprised to find his father Baz, and Gladys, from next door, furiously munching on enormous slices of pizza.  The table was littered with empty pizza boxes, chocolate wrappers and crusts of bread. “Pull up a chair son,” Baz said. “And have a cup of Gladys’s home made tea.” … Continue reading Romance Over A Potent Cup Of Tea

I Have My Suspicions That I Might Die Soon

For the past few weeks I’ve written depressing posts about death, misery and burning flesh. I’m wondering if perhaps we should call this place Withering Heights as it’s been so bleak?  But then we’re on flat land so Withering Plains would most likely be more appropriate. How very unromantic. Right at this minute though, the misery of winter is over. The suns out, the remaining … Continue reading I Have My Suspicions That I Might Die Soon

The Day I Almost Burnt To Death Twice

Unfortunately I did almost burn to death twice, worse it was by my own hand. Accidentally of course.  But let me get to that later, I need to explain a few things first. Things have been crazy around here. The Pity Party Is Over You will recall that the night the first of the calves arrived was a stormy, thunderous, howling, black night.  Well that … Continue reading The Day I Almost Burnt To Death Twice

Welcome to the Mad House Boys

  On a freezing, blustery, winters night the first five of our calves finally arrived.   Not on the warm, sunny, winters day that I had envisaged.  And I was not waiting at the gate with a sign which read “Welcome to the Mad House Boys” which in hindsight was a good thing because calves can’t read. Instead, I was sitting mournfully at the kitchen table … Continue reading Welcome to the Mad House Boys

Mrs Fit Flashes The Neighborhood

Mrs Fit stretched her long legs luxuriously in the steamy, bubbly, bath and gave a sigh of utter contentment.  She contemplated her good fortune at having the house all to herself, a rare event, as she sipped a tall glass of bubbly and delicately bit into a chocolate truffle. With Serge Gainsbourg crooning suggestively in the background and the warm, perfumed, water cocooning her, it … Continue reading Mrs Fit Flashes The Neighborhood